FCUK YOU!!!
 
*the mind speaks it words after a night of truth*
 
 
Now i know the truth...
U don't need to explain why...
Cuz itz all written in your aura...
That you're nothing!!

The night we had...
was juz an answer to my question...
So don't look back...
Never say you cared....

All i know itz worth it...
that we went thru this...
so itz all revealed...
so i could reach something more...

I don't need you as anything...
I don't have tears for you anymore...
I thot there was hope...
But no, I was wrong...

You say u have a heart...
That you have faith in your belief...
Bullshit , I say... why?
Cuz we all are sinners....

And ur one of them...
No one should pity 4 you...
No one should be near you...
You're juz plain evil...

So thanks for your f*cking lies...
Cuz it made me see...
the truth that you're juz nothing
but trash to my eyes....

Hope u have a happy life after all this, asshole!

 
 
 

"When u think that everything will turn out fine... then comes the time when you don't expect things to happen this way... it totally goes the opposite of what you have looked forward to... "
 
right now... i can't think or breathe... nor can i think... so i will juz give you a lyric of a song that i've been listening for these few dayz.... and let you figure out yourself... :)

"Vindicated"

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing,
so hypnotizing
I am captivated
 
[Chorus]
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So clear
 
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isoloated, so motivated
I am certain now that
 
[Chorus]
 
So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away [3x]
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away [4x]
 
[Chorus]
 
Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...

A Hard's Day Work, a Reward in the end...
 
Saturday,17 july 2004
 
 I cleaned up the house... after that flood on Monday, on Saturday, we were all able to clean up and put back all the furniture in place!! ok.. it was like 11am till 4pm !!! pushing, pulling carpets here and there... clean2... and all that.. and i have to say, it was really funnn!!! knowing that later on, the house would be like new!! totally new! heiheihie! :) nice isn't it?!hihihi...
 
in the evening, i was allowed to go out!!! ( Thank GOD!) it was gibran's party in Rouge, so i went there with my friendz... Thika and her cousins... and met up with Ardo and Frido! :D well, the music was ok, is juz that there weren't many ppl there.. so it wasn't a place where u would wanna dance on your own... so... yeah....
 
Sunday,18 july 2004
 
and becuz i felt so bored, i heard that BLISS was havin' an RnB Hip Hop night.. so eventually me and Ardo went there... to get our groovez back! heiheheie... Thika, ssssssssoooooo wanted to come along, but she couldn't cuz one of her cousins wanted to go home and her bf isn't in the mood... oh well, it was fine... :D so i enjoyed my nite with Ardo!!! the place was packed... more packed then the other time I went to Bliss but the music was "Drum 'N Basz" ... which turn out to be an unforgetful night hihihihi!!!
 
I guess yeah, in life, there's rights and obligations... and now i'm trying to work my way to it.. so life would be balance..........
 
Love you, GoD....
 
 
 
 

long time no see!
 
wow... i muz say, this year isn't my year... so many thingz are happening.. and not really good onez either... you can say that if life was a wheel, i'm actually down below where the wheel hits the ground.. if u know what i mean....
 
i don't know how to get all thiz.. but i know there's always an explanation behind it.. in the end.. like it'z telling me something.. that i should wake up and see the surroundings.. smell the scents of nature... and it'z signs.... this week for one thing isn't the best week ...
 
First = my house was flooded. Water was in the house, all carpets were soaking wet!
 
Second = Dad scolded ONLY me... becuz of my stupid judgement during the flood, ( yez, it'z my fault )
 
Third = He gave me a silent treatment... its so cold.. and unbearable... ( i need to be loved... ) <<< i'm such a spoiled-brat huh? sorry..
 
ARGGGHHHHH!!!!! oh well, i learned my lesson this week.... i 've been so... distance... i better change my attitude.. and have a grip of myself... cuz if i don't... i'll might as well jump off a cliff............ 
  



 
I met Dhee today!
 
yez, today i met my best freakin' biaaaatttccchhh, Dhee... met in PS and had a LONG.. LONG chat about our wackiest livez... and the funny thing is.. it'z so almost a like.. i mean, the life we're actually experiencing....hihihiihi.. pretty cute!! heiehe... well, we took pictures and stuff.. she'll be sending me the picturez one day! also did photobox!!! i'll scan them as soon as possible ... heiheihe... I miss her so much... i gotta go to Yogya one day! miss that placeee.... but i have to have a camera if i do go there again.. if possible... :D heihiehiee...
 
 

Girl with the Broken Smile...

AHHHH!!! i'm in campus with nobody!!! damn damn!!! no friendz to be with.. and i'm hungry!? haeihieahieaea... nah.. i'm alrite... i'm juz chatting on the net, and writing my blog for the time being... until some of my friendz come to campuz... hopefully...

Lotz is in my mind lately... haven't gone back to the real world yet!! i'm juz not living.. juz breathing... i sound pathetic... i know... trying to smile with all the happiness around, but inside i'm juz torn in shreds... no one or anything can actually help me at this stage.... the stage where there's nothing in front of me...

That'z why i can't be alone at the time like this.... it makez me think and think and think even more... until i go insane thinking of the thingz that is on my mind.... i guess i'm juz lonely... i'm ungrateful... yes.. i am... can't even appreciate what'z lying there for me...

I need a BOOK!!! Of all the dayz, why didn't i bring a BOOK!?!?!? thinking that i'll be hanging out with my friends... rather than reading... but it turns out none of friendz are around!!! ..... i juz have to wait until 1.20pm for another class... at least that'z something to look forward about........ we're learning about flash for the time being... i have a little skills on that, but i don't remember that much... ehhehee... but i enjoy the class!!

ARGGGHHHH!!! I WANT TO LOVE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate feeling so bare and numb like this................!!